Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.
-- Daniel Lybra
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
-- Chris Rock
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
-- George Carlin
My favorite animal is steak.
-- Fran Lebowitz
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin